In my previous post I talked a little about my experiences
with CP and surgeries. They’ve been a
part of my life and while the optimist in me hopes that’s a part that’s past
me, the realist in me says otherwise.
Ordinarily you would expect that a kid with CP who had
muscle lengthening surgery at 11 wouldn’t make it to 28 without having to have
another one, but I managed it. There are
reasons for that, mainly judicious stretching and being an extremely active kid
who played sports all the time. Perhaps
I should have had another, perhaps not.
The goal of any good orthopaedic surgeon is to avoid major surgery
whenever possible.
So by now you’re probably thinking, if he didn’t have
another muscle lengthening surgery, when what the hell is this post about? Well the effects of rapid growth and muscle and tendon rigidity on your body and on bones
and joints is different for everyone.
In my case the cumulative impact of years of toe walking
left me with a mangled , arthritic big right toe, a big bunion, and some ankle
problems. By senior year of high school
this had thrown off my stride just enough that I was getting bad knee
tendonitis early in cross country season and terrible hip pain. despite the pain I ran in every single race senior year, but I
couldn’t practice. The entire season was
a wash. I didn’t run a personal best the
entire year. I’d run a race and for the
next few days it hurt to walk, hurt to stand in the shower in the mornings, and the coach would forbid me from practicing.
I waited until the end of my Freshman year of college before
having bunion surgery to deal with the pain I was having. Ladies, having
experienced the pain that comes with bunions and the corrective surgery I don’t
know why you bother with high heels. A
crappy surgeon will just lop off the protruding bunion but what really needs to
be done is to fix the toe joints, straighten out the toe and lop off the
protruding bunion. They will often times
fuse some of the big toe joints as well.
Another thing that will happen is that as the big toe turns in it puts
pressure on the joints of the toe next to it.
I never did have surgery on that toe, but I do have bad arthritis in it
now.
I know they did something else in addition to a bunionectomy
and fusing my big toe joints, and I have a smaller, second scar on my right
calf to prove it, but I can’t remember what the surgeons did. I’m sure they cut some muscle or tendon
somewhere that needed spasticity relieved.
I’ll be honest, these leg surgeries kind of all meld together in my mind
and I’d be shocked if I didn’t muddle up details a bit.
I honestly don’t recall all that much from this surgery,
which more than likely means it was relatively easy as far as surgeries
go. I can remember having a huge, below
the knee walking cast on my right leg, and a piece of metal in my right big toe
that, funny enough, looked to me like I had a large paper clip sticking out the
end of my toe.
I still have hip pain, and yes, that damn toe still hurts
some times. I’m also, slowly but surely
growing another bunion on it, but like before, I had a problem and I got it
fixed. Easy peasy. If at some point in the future this foot
needs another surgery, then I’ll tackle that.
Somewhere around the time I had the toe surgery, maybe even
the year after the bunionectomy I also had surgery to pull some old hardware
out of my right foot and ankle that had been put in their during my 1996
surgery. I had been having issues with
my ankle joint popping, snapping, and completely locking up on me. So the summer before another year of college
I decided to go under the knife, have them yank out the hardware, and send me
on my way. Simple right? I was in my late teens and this was the only
surgery I’d ever had done by someone other than Dr. Miller. I don’t know who the guy was, but whoever he
was he decided to give me something like
100 oxycodone for what was a cakewalk of a surgery. He also gave me the nastiest scar anywhere on
my body, and at the end of it all my ankle was exactly the same. It’s no better now than it was then, and
still locks up on me. Oh well, these
surgeries are a bit of a guessing game anyway, and no one bats 100.00
I’ll never forget a
few years ago, I’m sprin ting down the beach with Zack, there are some
attractive young ladies walking our way, and just as they’re passing by my
ankle locks, I pull up, awkwardly try catch myself, and instead faceplant at full
sprint speed into the sand, and the dog looks back at me like “Dude, really?!” To this day It amuses me, because shit, if I
can’t laugh at myself, then who the hell can?
That’s it, those two simple surgeries were my last “leg”
surgeries. This is actually highly
unusual for someone with CP, given the spasticity issues we encounter. Dr. Miller was always a huge proponent of my
doing anything and everything I could to delay surgeries. I have my own suspicions as to why I was so
lucky as to not ever need another major muscle lengthening surgery on my legs,
but that could be encompassed in another CP post entirely. As it turns out, I would have one more major
surgery that I don’t think Dr. Miller, myself, or my family ever saw as a
potential issue.
As I talked about in earlier posts, both bone and muscle
growth are impacted by the spasticity inherent in having CP, and around age 18
my body had one last little growth spurt.
One of the places it decided to grow was in my lower jaw bones. I ended up with an underbite that I could
stick a portion of my tongue through. Yep, you guessed it, it was time for another
surgery.
First I had a set of braces put on which did not correct the problem, and then went to see a maxillofacial surgeon. I can still remember standing there with my father, as the Dr. was holding a skeleton all of the cuts he would make in the upper jaw to realign my bite correctly and the titanium plates and screws that would need to be installed. I was standing there going “this sounds pretty cool, lets fix me up” and my dad is cringing and continually asking me “are you sure you want to do this?”
First I had a set of braces put on which did not correct the problem, and then went to see a maxillofacial surgeon. I can still remember standing there with my father, as the Dr. was holding a skeleton all of the cuts he would make in the upper jaw to realign my bite correctly and the titanium plates and screws that would need to be installed. I was standing there going “this sounds pretty cool, lets fix me up” and my dad is cringing and continually asking me “are you sure you want to do this?”
January 16, 2006.
That was the day I went under the knife.
I remember because my sister was
in labor with my her first kid, my nephew Jake.
He was born right about the time I woke up from anesthesia. I look at my
jaw surgery as kind of a jigsaw puzzle.
They slice up the bones in my upper jaw, move all the pieces forward,
line everything back up and then bolt you all back together again, like humpty
dumpty. I also opted to have
polyurethane cheek implants put in based
on the surgeons advice. He explained
that without them my face may look sunken in after everything had been moved
its new spot. So I had plastic surgery
while they were in there, if you want to call it that.
My understanding is that they are extremely rough with your
face during this kind of surgery. There’s
a saw involved, hammering and chiseling
as well as a good deal of brute force.
The surgeon makes incisions at the very top of the inside of your gums
and…..folds your skin up off your face so he has room to work. Apparently it
showed, because I can remember a few folks who came to visit me crying when
they saw me. Oh, and people didn’t want
to let me look at my face. I must have
looked like I got hit by a bus, which is to say, still significantly more
handsome than Mayor Bloomberg.
I’ll always remember getting wheeled out of the
hospital. My dad was waiting at the curb
and I didn’t want him to see me wheeled out to the car, so I had them wheel me
near the entrance and then I walked out to his car and hopped in the front
seat. Dad, who hadn’t seen me at all
post-surgery, just kept looking at me, shaking his head, and saying “oh my god”
over and over again while admonishing me not to talk when I’d mumble that I’d
be fine. It’s odd the things you remember
and the things you don’t. I don’t
remember much of my hospital stay after jaw surgery (this is good, means it went
smoothly I guess) but I remember Dad picking me up and the exchange we had.
I would say I made the right decision. My bite, while not perfect, is far better
than it was, and looking at me you’d never know I had major reconstructive
surgery on my face, nor is it obvious that I have cheek implants. Aside from my right foot being turned too far
in during one surgery, I don’t regret a single one of my surgeries. They taught me a lot about life, about taking
things one step at a time, and pushing through pain and frustration even when
sometimes all I wanted to do was give up.
You learn that no matter how bad shit gets, wounds heal. Things get better, so be resilient. Deal with what needs to be dealt with, push
through it and get better, so you can get back to kicking ass.
Besides, one thing I’ve learned during my life with cerebral
palsy is that the surgeries are the easy part.
It’s the post surgery recovery where the big dude in the sky really
tests you. If you’re wondering what the
next post(s) in this series might be, well the sentence preceding this might
give you a clue. I think that’ll be less
dry and technical than this post as well.
I am sitting here, about to hit publish on this long
languishing post, and my surgically repaired toe is throbbing. This must be some kind of karmic justice for
daring to write a post about my surgeries.
Heh.
Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend everyone.
Have a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend everyone.
2 comments:
this wasn't a "long languishing post." i found it interesting. so would anyone who calls you friend and doesn't quite know just how often you've gone under the knife.
i think they did a fantastic job with your face, BTW.
Oh I guess I wasn't clear on that. I meant it'd been long languishing in my drafts folder. Funny thing is, *I* dunno quite how often I went under the knife.
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