"BOSTON - President Barack Obama won the 2010 Boston Marathon on Friday In a stunning decision designed to encourage him to quit smoking and keep running to stay in shape. The Boston Athletic Association announced their decision to name Obama the winner even though the race will not be run until 18 April 2010 because the president has the desire to win and has good intentions. In announcing Obama the winner the president of the BAA said, "We must rise above the out dated measurements of what a person actually has accomplished and focus instead on their intentions and what they say they will do. Intentions and talk are what drive the world." Congressman Frank Barney and Chinese Vice President XI Jinping seated nearby reiterated these words. The BAA also noted that no president has won the marathon before. This would set a good example for all future presidents of the United States and for other countries."
Comment by Michael Knight on page 1 here. (his comment preceeding that was funny as well.)