A word of advice for panhandlers. If you're trying to extort money from me starting out your plea with "I'm not a hooker"* might not be the best way to go about it. Just sayin.
*especially when you look like a really nasty hooker that I wouldn't touch with Paul Helmke's dick.
Nothing's better than the time some guy straight up asked me if I could spare $10,000. That was nuts.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Damn those Kind Eyes!
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I'm not a hooker. Can you spare $1000? That's only 10% of what the other guy wanted. I promise to turn it into ammo.
I don't know about Paulie. I might be tempted to pay her money to follow him around and shout
"my baby needs his daddy!"
"why you care so much about gun control when you should care about birth control!"
"Why you always make me face the other way? You trying to pretend I'm Josh Horowitz?"
C'mon, you'd pay her $20 for that, right?
And the one "why lie? I need ber money" won't buy you my sympathy or dollars. Why would I give a random bum money for beer when I don't have enough for me ?
At least she didn't ask you, "Hey, can't we work something out? I come to your house and do you...r yard?"
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